MEDITATIONS

By our very nature as humans, we like to be appreciated. People are always elated and lit up when they are given gifts as some sort of appreciation either for doing a thing or accomplishing some feat. My last birthday was indeed memorable largely because of the tremendous gifts I received. In truth, I was actually looking forward to the gifts I would receive and from whom. The desire for gift as a form of appreciation never wanes with age or with the increasing wealth of a person. It is hardly surprising therefore that sometimes even when relatively insignificant items are given as gifts joy still flood through our systems upon receipt of them. One feature that has come to characterize gifts people receive and hence people quickly look to when in expectation of a gift is the brightly colored wrappings.

The story is told about a young man who was from a wealthy family and about to graduate. It was the culture in that affluent neighborhood for the parents to give the graduate an automobile. The young man and his father had spent months looking at cars, and the week before graduation they found the perfect car. The young man (Bill) was certain that the car would be his upon graduating. Imagine his disappointment when on the eve of his graduation the father handed over a gift-wrapped bible. The young man was angry and he threw the bible down and stormed out of the house never to return. It was the news of his father death that brought the boy home again. As he sat one night going through his father’s possession that he was to inherit, he came across the bible his father had given him. He brushed away the dust, and opened it to find a cashier’s check dated to the day of his graduation in the exact amount of the car they had chosen.

He missed the gift all those years ago because it was not packaged in the traditional way. It was wrapped in an odd package (A bible).

The story is a true representation of life and the sometimes unpleasant experience that do not at first glance seem as much of a gift. How many times have we missed opportunities for learning and gaining value from things, experiences and people because they do not appear as our expectations. These sometimes unpleasant experiences that end up adding value to us and make us better people are what are referred to as subtle gifts. I must mention that these subtle gifts are not necessarily unpleasant experiences, but they may also be seeming insignificant happenings, things and even people that come into our lives.

In this write-up let me expose you to two special “Subtle gifts”.

THE GIFT OF FRIENDS

I saw a very interesting quote a long time ago that did a mindset shift for me on the meaning of friendship. The quote goes thus: Do not walk behind me, I may not lead. Do not walk in front of me, I may not follow. Walk besides me and be my friend. This quote taught more than any classroom could the true meaning of friendship as a partnership, one that creates value for both parties.

Many do not really know the importance of the word friends and the tremendous gifts they are. The people in our lives that we call friends are gifts of immeasurable proportions that many people seek; but often times are taken advantage of by those who have it in abundance or those who do not understand what it is.

By nature, humans are social beings; having the tendency to agglomerate. This basically means we have a deep seated need to affiliate with other humans. It is in view of this that the worse punishment you can give to a criminal in detention is SOLITARY CONFINEMENT. When this need for affiliation is not met, we feel incomplete and discomfited. Have you ever been lonely? Needing somebody to share your thoughts with and not finding any? It is at that point you realize what a wonderful gift we often take for granted in friendship. If you have loving friends that surround you, that you share your every joy and sadness with, your sunny days and your glooms, you are lucky; they are God’s precious gifts to you. It has been documented that people are more prone to dying when they are alone and do not have friends. According to Richard Lang, Chair of preventive medicine at the Cleveland clinic in Ohio, we have to attend to loneliness and social isolation in the same way we do with our diet, exercise and how much sleep we get. This is because chronic loneliness poses a serious health risk (www.everydayhealth.com).

Let me give you a simple assignment…

For a week, keep to yourself and don’t interact with anybody, stay with your thoughts only. At the end of that week do a check on your Blood Pressure and you would treat your friends well.

The gift of “A DAY”

Let me draw your minds to the beautiful gift of A DAY. Someone captured it perfectly when he said today is a gift and that is why it is often called the “present”, how so true. Today is actually the only day we have to do whatever we have to do, we are often not certain of another. Every day you wake up into, is a tremendous gift. A day should not only be looked at as a 24 hours’ time frame, but an opportunity to accomplish something. The people who died yesterday would wish to have one more day to right all their wrongs and leave their footprints in the sands of time. Every day is precious and should be used as such. Take advantage of every second, minute and hour in every day because we only have one chance at it, when it is gone, it is gone forever.

One of my best songs ever was the one sung by popular American R & B star R.Kelly titled “if I could turn back the hands of time”. His regret as captured by the song was his inability to take advantage of the time he had to make things right in his life. Time is fleeting, and hence must be cherished. The only guarantee we have is the time at our disposal. Every new day is a gift, what are you doing with it? Jack London; American, writer, novelist and social activist has this to say: “The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.” It is in dying moments when the twilight of our lives have come that people start appreciating the gift that is called “A day”

Live each day as though it is the last, because when it is gone, it is gone forever. Yesterday is not yours for it is gone, tomorrow is uncertain for it may never come. Today is the only day your truly actually have, use it.

I do not qualify to tell you how to use your day, but I personally recommend that every day should be spent touching lives and enriching the world around us. At the end of the day what you get out of life is what you give into it.

Let me close this piece with a quote from Steve Jobs the founder of Apples, he said “For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something”.

What are you doing with today, the precious gift called “A day”.